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#008. Avoiding Disappointment

How often are you disappointed at not achieving your goals?

Like many, I have often disappointed myself by not exactly achieving what I had set out to do. The feeling of “my life is not turning out how I planned” is such a debilitating, ever present force that does nothing but drag us down even further.

This was true for me until some time ago I heard a podcast featuring Dr Gabor Maté. Dr. Maté is a renowned addiction expert who calls for a compassionate approach toward addiction, whether in ourselves or in others.

Maté is a fascinating individual who shares many insightful stories and experiences. Of all the things he said in this particular interview this one stuck with me “Set an intent, not an expectation” 

Wow, it has changed my life.

Example:

Old expectation; Success means building this blog into a huge endeavour in itself and have thousands of followers in the next 12 months.

New intent; Success means regularly sharing insights with the intent that it may reach a small tribe of passionate followers.  The intent is to matter enough that people will miss the blog if I stopped writing it. The intent is that an insight helps even one follower succeed, change, improve.

Any of these will make me a happy blogger.

Take a moment, change an expectation into an intent and feel the weight release.

2 Comments

  1. I like the observation Jewels. Expectation or intent….thanks for the thought and the reflection it has initiated. frankly, its my experience we all experience both. I can’t admit to preferring either as Ive had Boards who have a fairly clear and singular expectation which must be translated into reality. its in this state of ” translation into reality” and working with colleagues, staff, clients, that intent has its place as reality of circumstance can effect outcomes, some good, some disappointing, but each must be dealt with.

    1. Your point is very valid Brett, thank you. You are correct in that we are faced with both and both must be dealt. It’s the little voice in our heads that sets an expectation rather than an intent is the one we need to look out for.

      All the best.
      Jewels

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